By Brandon Bub
Nov. 29, 2014
Dear Texas State Board of Education,
I write today in support of your proposed changes to the standards for American history curricula across the state. In light of recent events, however, I suggest a few more revisions you might want to consider.
-The event that took place on March 5, 1770 in Massachusetts in which 5 were killed and 6 injured should be retitled from the “Boston Massacre” to the “Boston Justified use of Lethal Police Force.” The British infantrymen involved in this episode were provoked by a group of animalistic thugs, and the two who were indicted for manslaughter were unfair victims of a propagandistic news cycle that sought to convict them without even a shred of evidence that the shooting was unjustified.
-On December 16, 1773, a terrorist network known as the “Sons of Liberty” caused over $1 million US in property damage in an event that has become colloquially known as the “Boston Tea Party.” Please make sure to underscore the violent nature of these outside agitators (as well as their charismatic and traitorous ring leader, Sam Adams) and make clear that destruction of property is never an effective way to protest.
-Between 1775 and 1783, a group of armed radicals known as “Minutemen” led an insurrection against His Majesty’s army, resulting in the death of over 24,000 brave British infantrymen. These thugs claimed that His Majesty was violating their “rights as Englishmen,” but history clearly shows us that these rebels were dangerous and unpatriotic rabble-rousers.
Happy Thanksgiving, and God Save the Queen.
A history teacher.