This morning, I received an emailed with the subject line, “Huseman, did you abandon the GOP?” It took me a couple of blinks to rationalize that this was a real email that I had just received. Is the RNC referring to me by my last name now? Wouldn’t I have to have been a member of the GOP to “abandon” it?
This might — I say “might” carefully — be the most pathetic attempt to guilt people into donating money that I have ever seen from either party. At the very least, it tops the charts for the 2014 midterm season.
The letter, which came from Republican National Committee Treasurer Tony Parker, starts with a bold question for its hopefully weak-willed reader:
“Jessica, Did you abandon the Republican Party?”
That’s right, with the subject line and the first line of the email, I’ve now been asked twice if I have turned my back on the GOP in their time of need. At least they figured out my first name the second time.
Chairman Priebus has written to you already this year asking you to contribute to the RNC and renew your membership. But we haven’t received your financial support yet this year.
Your past support has shown us that you believe in the Republican Party and the conservative principles we stand for. That’s why we still believe you haven’t given up on the Republican Party yet.
It looks like the treasurer may need to check his roster, because I have never donated to or supported the Republican Party (or the Democratic Party, for that matter) in any way. I just subscribe to their listserv so I can get great emails like this, which the GOP clearly hopes will bully its most insecure members into donating.
But then it gets even more ham-fisted, if that’s possible:
Right now you are handing the advantage over to Democrats. That’s exactly what President Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid want you to do. With committed Republicans like you sitting out in 2014, the Democrats are able to continue their liberal rampage on conservative principles.
2014 is our last chance to step in, step up, and take back the Senate to regain Republican control in Washington. Don’t turn your back on the Republican Party now.
OH MY GOD GUYS. If those liberals win this year, it’s going to be my fault. And I, as a “committed Republican” can’t allow that to happen. How much do I have in my bank account right now?! Does the RNC accept money orders? Can I pay with a personal check? I NEED TO DONATE RIGHT NOW OR THEY’LL THINK I’VE TURNED MY BACK ON FREEDOM.