Americans are geographically stupid. It’s funny because it’s true. That’s why the Miss Teen South Carolina video was such a hit for so long — because we know people like that. But maybe that rambling blonde was on to something: Americans need some damn maps.
It’s always really disheartening when we justify all of the stereotypes about the “ignorant American”– and we are certainly guity of that in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing. Because, I mean, “Chechens” are from the Czech Republic. Just ask Twitter:
The above Tweets, brilliantly compiled by this hilarious person, are obviously very embarrassing — but also hysterical. But, never fear @ErrickDerrick, no one will be invading the Czech Republic. And to @s_elliott11, I would advise you to stop saying “terrorboy” immediately, but I do commend you for having Ron Swanson as your header. I also apologize, because I know you deleted this tweet, but it’s too funny not to post:
The misunderstanding went so far that the Czech ambassador to the United States had to release an official statement telling us how freaking stupid we all are:
“As more information on the origin of the alleged perpetrators is coming to light, I am concerned to note in the social media a most unfortunate misunderstanding in this respect. The Czech Republic and Chechnya are two very different entities – the Czech Republic is a Central European country; Chechnya is a part of the Russian Federation.”
Just in case you need a visual aid:
I hope everyone is now averting their eyes from this blog in embarrassment. Groans of pity are also appropriate. THEY ARE MORE THAN 2,000 MILES AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. This is like confusing New York with Utah – which, to be clear, no one would do.
Or maybe they would. It turns out that less than half of young Americans can actually find New York on a map. So, what the hell? It’s over by Nevada I guess. That same study, done by the National Geographic, also found that young Americans pretty much can’t find Iraq on a map even though we’ve been there since 2003.
Americans also have no idea that a country named “Georgia” exists. ESPN, for instance, decided that Georgia’s state soccer team (which, for the record, does not exist) was the team that qualified for the 2012 soccer World Cup against Spain and not the country of Georgia located in Eastern Europe.
Shit really hit the fan in 2008, when multiple Yahoo! Answers users took to their favorite bastion of Internet-based geniuses to complain that it couldn’t possibly be true that Russia had invaded Georgia, because they couldn’t see any Russian soldiers from their houses! Here are two such questions, for your entertainment:
Miss Teen South Carolina isn’t an idiot at all. She was actually on the forefront of enlightened educational reform: We all just need some maps.